Tuesday 12 March 2013

Nemeses....


Time for a quick rant - all justified if you don't mind...

Here are some of the things in life which I consider to be my own nemesis:


Gravel.




 


In any form.

I don't care how pretty and convenient and cheap it is.

It moves.  Under all 4 of my feet.  Particularly my crutches.  And it gets stuck in the 'feet' of the crutches and the minute I'm back on a flat surface the sticking out bits of gravel make me slide and skid - and risk ending up on my back with all 4 legs spread about...  And that's just rude.  So please, people, bag up your gravel paths, driveways and other foot-fall byways, and get a proper floor covering.


And whilst we're on the subject of unhelpful and potentially dangerous flooring -

Marble.








I mean, why? 

Firstly, it looks slippery.  And for those of us with a dubious sense of balance and co-ordination, the appearance of a slippery surface is enough in itself to make us seek out a big detour. 

Second, it gets slippery to easily, and there's nothing to absorb any liquid spilt/walked onto it.  So now it looks and is slippery.  And I've got 4 legs (count them, 4) to potentially skid on the floor.  So do me a favour, and get a carpet.


Buffet.





Everywhere I go, there's a Buffet.

Let's do the maths - plate, one hand; glass, one hand.  Crutches x 2, 2 hands.  So now I'm up to 4 hands.  No, no, no. 

And it's not humbling to say to some willing and lovely person, "I say, would you mind carrying my food please?". 

No my friends - it's humiliating.  I can't carry my own food, or drink. 

I can't stand around with said food and drink chatting lightly about this and that.  I apparently need to trail around after you like a small child with you deciding what and how much I should eat.  Having stood awkwardly in a queue for the privilege.

Thanks, but no thanks.  I'll ring for a pizza ta.


And finally - for the minute.....!

 

No Handrails...



Have you ever used crutches? 

They're not designed to weight-bear.  Legs are. 

So now I've got a leg that works, and leg that should but doesn't, and 2 long poles which are ok on the flat (except for on Marble or Gravel...).  And when I meet steps and stairs that have no handrails, I have to control 3 variable 'limbs' but up a sequence of trip hazards and against gravity, with no additional support? 

Thanks.

The most insulting scenario is a staircase with a handrail that stops half way.... WHY?  That's just sticking 2 fingers up and saying, "thus far and no further - get legs..."



Saturday 9 March 2013

I was having a think about Mothering Sunday - the highs, lows and pitfalls of being both Mother and Priest on this most marvellous day, holding my own thoughts, a weight of Church history and theology, and a pastoral awareness of the mix of people in (and resolutely not in) the congregation for the Mothering Sunday service.

 To be honest - it's a minefield! And I think a fellow priest and blogger writes about it far more eloquently than I.

parttimepriest.blogspot and click on the heart saying 'special mum'


Happy and joyous Mothering Sunday - wherever, and however, you are.